The Seven Stages of Night Feeds: A Parenting Rollercoaster
These are some of the more lucid and polite thoughts I have found myself thinking on particularly bad nights with my newborn son. I know that babies need feeding during the night, I accept their tummies are tiny, and that it is my job to help him grow and thrive.
However, the lack of sleep is a whole new challenge. There are moments of extreme exhaustion where the only thing keeping me awake is the soft weight of my baby resting on me, even though he has a cozy Moses basket nearby.
Night feeds are an emotional journey – one filled with highs, lows, and everything in between.
Can you relate? If you’re a parent, you might have already experienced this rollercoaster, but if not, let me take you through The Seven Stages of Night Feeds.
1. Denial
What’s that noise? Surely, it can’t be my baby. He still has at least another hour before he should be hungry, right? Maybe I’m imagining things. I try to convince myself it’s all in my head, like some strange nightmare.
But as the rustling and tiny cries get louder, reality hits. This isn’t a dream. The books said rubbing his tummy would soothe him back to sleep, but those theories go out the window when I hear him crying louder. It’s time to face the inevitable.
2. Disbelief
“No way. Noooo… this can’t be happening.”
I’ve barely closed my eyes, and now I’m back up. Again. It’s like a cruel game where I spend 80% of my night feeding, soothing, and yawning. How can one baby eat so much? Despite their tiny stomachs, babies seem to have an endless appetite in the middle of the night.
As I pick him up, I look at his innocent face, and all disbelief fades. Yes, I’m back at it, but he’s so adorable that it almost makes up for the lack of sleep. Almost.
Also read: How Breastfeeding Can Impact Your Sex Drive
3. Bargaining
“Okay, baby, let’s strike a deal.”
You’ve been fed, burped, changed, and cuddled. How about you give mommy a break for a couple of hours? Three hours? Two and a half? I’ll take anything!
But no matter how hard I try to reason with my little one, his preference is clear: he wants to sleep on me, not in his Moses basket. As I hold him close, tears of exhaustion well up in my eyes, and I realize this might be another long, sleepless night.
4. Anger
How can my husband be sound asleep through all this? And why doesn’t he have breasts to share the feeding responsibilities? The injustice of it all!
And don’t get me started on the snoring. As I sit there, feeding our baby for what feels like the hundredth time, I hear my husband snoring peacefully beside me. At this point, I contemplate giving him a gentle kick (or maybe not so gentle).
But then I glance down at my baby, and those sweet eyes looking up at me melt the frustration away. Well, mostly.
5. Guilt
Why am I being so grumpy? I love my baby, and these moments are precious, right? I feel guilty for every frustrated thought, knowing how lucky I am to have him.
Some parents would cherish these nighttime cuddles, snapping endless photos for Instagram. Meanwhile, I’m struggling just to stay awake long enough to finish feeding. The guilt weighs heavy, but then I remind myself that it’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to want sleep. We’re all just doing our best.
6. Delirium
Wait, where am I? What day is it?
By the middle of the night, I’m not even sure if I’m awake or dreaming. It’s like I’m floating between reality and some strange, sleep-deprived state where everything feels surreal. I might have had a bizarre dream about Teletubbies, or maybe I didn’t – I can’t remember anymore.
All I know is that I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve fed him, what time it is, or even which side I last breastfed from. It feels like the night might never end, and the delirium is starting to take over.
7. Acceptance
And then, around 5:30 a.m., the light starts creeping through the curtains. I’ve survived another night. Some people are waking up now to start their day, and yet I’m just finishing mine.
I realize that, as tough as these nights are, I’ve made it through. I might not be sleeping much, but I’m still functioning. Maybe, just maybe, by accepting the sleepless nights, I can find some peace with this new reality. After all, this phase won’t last forever.
And with that final thought, I dare to close my eyes, hoping for at least another hour or two of rest.
Conclusion: Navigating the Rollercoaster of Night Feeds
Night feeds are undoubtedly one of the most challenging parts of early parenthood. Each stage brings its own emotional challenges – from denial and disbelief to guilt and acceptance. Yet, through all the sleepless nights, there’s one constant: the overwhelming love for your baby.
Though it may feel never-ending, this phase is temporary. One day, the sleepless nights will be replaced by longer stretches of rest, and you might even find yourself missing those quiet moments in the middle of the night, just you and your little one.
FAQs
1. How can I cope with the lack of sleep during night feeds?
To cope with sleepless nights, try to nap during the day whenever your baby sleeps. Also, don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner or family members to share the workload.
2. When do babies typically start sleeping through the night?
Most babies begin sleeping for longer stretches at around 3 to 6 months, but every baby is different. It’s important to be patient and know that your baby will eventually outgrow this stage.
3. Should I wake my baby for night feeds?
In the first few weeks, your baby may need to be woken for feeds to ensure they’re getting enough nutrition. However, after they start gaining weight steadily, consult with your pediatrician to see if you can let them sleep longer at night.
4. How can I make night feeds more manageable?
Prepare in advance by setting up a comfortable feeding station with everything you need, such as water, burp cloths, and snacks for yourself. Keep the environment calm and quiet to help soothe your baby back to sleep.
5. Is it normal to feel overwhelmed during night feeds?
Absolutely. Night feeds can be exhausting and emotionally draining. It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed, but remember that this phase is temporary, and it’s okay to ask for support when you need it.
Also read: Effective Postpartum Weight Loss: A Comprehensive Guide
